Self-injury. Thankfully now many have become more aware of what it is and how to encourage or help someone they know who is struggling. March 1st was designated–though not entirely officially–as National Self-Injury Awareness Day.
But what happens when the issue slides off our radar?
We’ve heard of it. We move on.
Unfortunately those who suffer have not moved on. Their inner pain and struggle is very much a part of every day. The reasons they live trapped in despair and the endless cycle of shame and hurting themselves are still a very real part of every one of their days.
Since I first researched self-injury and wrote the true stories in Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal–A Journey Out of Self-Injury, the national statistics on reported self-injury has climbed–from 1% to 4%. 4% amounts to a huge increase. In 2008, that would be more than 12,000,000 reported incidents. That doesn’t account for the many, many who self-injure in secret.
Outside of the United States are cultures that still consider the topic taboo. I received an e-mail this week from a 19-year-old in South Africa who wants to bring the topic of self-injury to the attention of those in her church. She is afraid, partly because she still struggles with cutting. She feels more certain that she will be rejected than supported.
Heartbreaking. Or it should be.
On one end of the spectrum are those who have heard enough about it and it’s barely on their daily radar. On the other are those who refuse to talk about it. Two extremes, both dangerous. Neither help the person who is longing for compassion and hope.
Please don’t let it become a forgotten topic. It’s likely that someone you know is struggling and hoping that you or anyone might be available and care. When you care, others will begin to believe that God does.
Check out Light and Life article: Long Sleeves in Hot Weather.
Jan, Thanks for bringing this topic to the forefront again. I will be bringing up the topics with my daughters.
Lynn
Thanks for stopping by, Lynn. Glad you’ll be talking about this life-impacting topic with your daughters. You’re an amazzing mom!
Jan,
Thanks for writing this because it really touches home. My self-injury was destroying my friendships and family, and I decided to get better for them. I still fall back time and again but everyone thinks I’m fine now. No one genuinely asks how I am feeling or wants to go back to that time. So I do stay under that radar you talk about. I’m an adult now and as far as my family and friends are concerned I choose the life I want to live.
Also, I just finished reading your book “Scares that Wound: Scars that Heal” and I would like to thank you for writing it and including all of the prayers in the book. I struggle with finding the words to pray and this has really helped.
Thanks,
Danielle
Danielle,
Thanks for leaving your note. So glad you found the book and prayers included helpful.
I hope you have found those who can compassionately listen to you when you’re ready to talk. Have you? Look around for those who are there in your life. I fully believe God will provide who you need. And of course, he’s always ready to listen too.
May you feel his nearness more every day.
Jan
I self injure and when I had started I really had no idea what I was doing had a “title.” It just made me feel better. I had a way to release everything secretly and it made pretending everything was fine so much easier. I hate this. I hate who I’ve become because of this.
I still think Self Injury is taboo. I have been pretty lucky in the fact that the people who do know what I do indepth haven’t really judged me. But these people really knew before they knew of what I do to myself. Last year was my freshman year at college. I played lacrosse and my friend forgot something in the locker room, so I went with her to go get it. At this time I had finally started wearing short sleeves. The scars on my arms were still pretty ugly. (I had never cut on my arms before this point in my life, I always hid it really well but I just didn’t care anymore.) I had finally become more self confident and happy with who I was. Well I went into the locker room and football was in there. Most of the coaches were standing up at the board talking to the players but a few coaches sat on the benches with the team. Well as I waited for my friend I leaned on a wall out of the way and tried to be unnoticed. One of the coaches just kept staring at me. I gave him a nod as in “hi” and a small smile. He had this look of pure disgust on his face and he just shook his head and said Jesus. He just glared at me and his words dripped with disgust. Everyone around him turned to look at me. I was so embarrassed so I left the room. He was the only one to say it to my face. I slowly found out a select few ppl on my team were talking about me and my SI. I didn’t let it stop me from playing but it made me mad.
I also read your article Long Sleeves in Hot Weather. I loved it, along with this post. I wish I had someone like you in my community to show me God. I have gone catholic schools all my life yet no one has really shown me what and who He really is. I loved your articles and really appreciate you writing about it and getting it out there. It’s something that needs to be known.
Thanks,
Dana
So glad you stopped by, Dana.
When I think of the reaction of the coach toward you, admittedly it makes me a little mad, but it mostly reminds me that there are still so many that haven’t taken the time to understand what’s behind SI. Coaches, like teachers and others who work in education or work with students, should have received training in understanding and responding to SI.
I’m guessing (and praying) that you do have someone in your community that can show you God. You seem to be wanting to know who he really is, and I can assure you that God himself is fully aware of that longing and is present with you as you search for him. Keep looking and watching for people who know him well who can show you more about him and who can come alongside and encourage you. Let me know if you need some other ideas of ways to do that.
Hoping for healing for you in all the ways you long for.
Jan