or your local bookstore.
self-injury—helping—part 2
Posted by jankern on September 12, 2007
Recently I offered a workshop in my community on self-injury awareness. We considered the ways friends, mentors, youth pastors, and family members can come alongside and help. We talked about how important our responses are to those who are self-harming (and yet this could apply to other situations as well). It’s a vulnerable position to be in, but in many ways as we help we are being watched.
How we respond to pain and questions in our own life; how we love, cry, laugh, get angry, or forgive; how we take care of ourselves (including our bodies) and nurture our faith and creativity—these are all ways we are being an example to those who are hurting. We don’t have to be perfect—being okay with that is an example in itself—but it might be a good exercise to consider exactly what we are modeling.
The following is a start to the list.
If someone is watching my life, how do they see me . . .
- Listening and communicating
- Responding to stressful situations
- Feeling anger and keeping it in check
- Failing and getting back on track
- Respecting and having healthy personal boundaries
- Being willing to ask for help when needed
- Valuing who God created me to be (and others)
- Loving and forgiving myself
- Loving and forgiving others (and yet not condoning hurtful behavior)
- Praying as a natural part of responding to what’s happening
- Having a daily, meaningful relationship with God
When we do this kind of modeling in our interactions with those who are wounded and struggling—with self-injury or anything else—we are helping to establish new patterns. Most of all, we are being like Christ and demonstrating his love and transforming work in and through our lives—even when we can’t do that perfectly. Maybe especially then.
What would you add to the list?
when someone who self-injures comes to you « Jan Kern said
[...] on self-injury and helping: self-injury–helping someone who is wounded and struggling–part 1 self-injury—helping—part 2 self-injury—helping—part 3 self-injury—teens helping teens parents responding to self-injury [...]